Did I Shave My Legs For This?

Going down memory lane

I was just reading some old posts after I updated the Tater Tot, and holy crap! I was funny!

What the hell happened?

The HuFax

Dealing with people lately, I've come to the conclusion that we all need CarFaxes. There needs to be something when we meet people, sort of like a resume, that will let you know right off if getting to know that person is worth dealing with. Some people have serious issues that do not come out right at the beginning of a relationship, hence the need for a CarFax - forever known now as a HuFax. You should be able to request a HuFax prior to any serious relationship, loan friends money, or maybe even before a one-night stand. I think this will alleviate a lot of problems and heartache, not just for those directly involved, but for us bystanders as well.

What, you don't like pizza?

I hate having duty. Even more, I hate having watch. I had the 12-17 (that's noon to five) and I'm pretty exhausted, and my feet hurt. I hate wearing my whites - I look like the Good Humor Dude...with a gun. Fun. Then I got to stuff myself with more than half a medium Hawaiian pizza, and all is good in the life of Lisset. At least in Lisset's stomach. *burp*

After I downloaded my weapon, I stepped outside for my after-watch smoke and got pulled into an interesting conversation. A conversation with a Sailor is about one if not two things - alcohol and sex. Now I had a six pack at a barbeque yesterday, but sex hasn't been high on my priority list for about six months now. Immature sex stories (you know what I'm talking about) interest me even less, but I was "forced" into making small comments, "Ooh, Oh, Really?" and a lot of "Eeeww!" while I'm cringing inside, not because of the topic, but because I can remember doing the same things "back in the day" but with different plumbing. I realized that though I may have matured and don't need to get all wild and crazy anymore, I really have become rather boring.

Sad.

Matchmaker matchmaker make me a match

Okay, so I wasn't knocking online dating services. I guess I'm not one to trust people online in that intimate of a capacity. Thanks to Tonya, I know it works for some, but I also know that there are a lot of sick motherfuckers out there, and the internet can be a breeding ground for them. I know I sound so cynical, now don't I? Mind you, I'm not looking for love, in all the right or wrong places, at the moment, so it's a non-issue for me. I'm not exactly in the position to get all romantic. I'm in a foreign country and surrounded by Sailors. There aren't a whole lot of choices for me, so I just wait and bide my time.

I'm sure one of these days, when I'm not looking, love will smack me silly upside the head. Until then, I think I'll stick with BoB and have dirty dreams about George Eads.

Now Playing: Lacuna Coil - Swamped

Huh?

I was thinking about what I would post today and my thoughts ran from starting Season 2 of Lost on DVD, to Season 1 of Medium (which I finished Tuesday night) to my current lack of sex life to relationships to current music I'm enjoying, then I realized the post was going to either be one huge rambling session or one huge run-on sentence.

My head hurts.

Now Playing: Ray Lamontagne - How Come

And I'm not talking about Stove Top

Today was one of those days for doing stuff. Or thinking about doing stuff. I ran around doing this so-called stuff all day while thinking of other stuff to do. And when I was sitting there not doing stuff, I was trying to remember what stuff I was supposed to do.

This stuff sucks.

Now Playing: Silverchair - Israel's Son

I had a thought

If I masturbate myself to death, would it be suicide or a crime of passion?

Just wondering.

Thank God there's no need for condoms in dreams

Because that would take all the romance out of it.

I had one of those sexual dreams about someone I would have never thought of. I woke up from it all discombobulated and well, horny. This is the sad state of my life. The funny thing is, he thinks I'm crazy "in a good way", which is a phrase people quickly add on so you won't try to stalk them and stab them in the neck with a highlighter.

Some days we are better off dead

I just had a random thought about John Cusack. Don't worry it wasn't dirty; I just realized how many movies he has been in. But I always get two of them mixed up, Better Off Dead and that other one with the skiing and the French girl and the paper boy on the bicycle.

It is like channeling my mother from thousands of miles away when I think, "I want my two dollars for that perfectly good white boy."

EDIT: Okay, I'm an idiot. I didn't realize that I am talking about the same movie. Have I ever mentioned that I was born a blond? Yeah, it's not just a hair color, it's a state of mind.

Tiny Little Pieces, the true story

Wow, I didn't realized it had been so long. I'm alright over here. Life is pretty boring, but in a good way. I've rediscovered The Sims in the Second version and have completely lost track of time playing it. I lead an exciting and thrilling life. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. The drama that was May almost sucked the life out of me. But yesterday I found myself making funny sound effects as I downloaded custom objects for the game and talking to myself, so I know all is right with the World of Me. The World of Crazy Me.

You know how they say you only dream right before you wake up? If that's true, why is it that you can't always remember your dreams? Anyway, I digress. I dreamed that I was out shopping with an ex-boyfriend from a long time ago. But it wasn't the fact that the guy that ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it after talking about marriage because he wasn't ready but somehow he was ready enough last year with some other girl but I'm not bitter was in my dream that made it all weird. It was the fact that I kept finding broken things everywhere and I kept trying to fix them. I was trying to fix all these things that didn't belong to me and ignoring my shopping. I mean, how many times do you find a dress in your size that makes you look three sizes smaller than you really are? Come on, even in dreams a woman doesn't look a gift horse like that in the mouth. I've always known that I usually put others before myself, and my dream just reiterated that. But the point is, I've been doing more for myself lately. I've been ignoring those broken pieces I've been finding, even some of my own. And I'm okay with that. I know I'm human and that I can't do everything. Hell, sometimes I don't want to do everything. Sometimes I just want to sit on my ass and play computer games. Is that so wrong?

So see? No need to worry. I'm fine.