I'll take back almost every bad thing I ever said about California

At least the area I had to deal with for eight years. You know, San Diego. Barbietown. The Jock Jungle. The College Cootchieville...well, I think you get the idea.

I received a notice in the mail yesterday from the good old DM of V. The registration for my car is expired. Duh. Since October 2005. Oops. Well, not really. I left Cali back in February of last year. And I ain't been back. I drove out of that state faster than a whore giving a five dollar blowjob. Changed my insurance and my drivers license to Texas, my home state. But I couldn't change my car registration because I had accidentally packed all of my car information away and it was already headed to the Middle East. I had a Power of Attorney drawn up for the parental units since they were taking care of my car while I'm here on an island so tiny, a boat can't even sink all the way, but can still manage to kill 58 people. (Ooooo! BAD joke!) Anyway, my parents didn't register my car because Texas doesn't hound people and threaten them with freezing your bank accounts, garnishing your wages, seizing and selling your property, or filing a lien against what you already own or might own quite like California does. Actually, Texas doesn't do it at all. If you don't register your car, you can't drive it. That simple. But I got threatened. Commie bastards! At first I was pissed that I got the letter at all. But then after freaking out my mother and making her turn all shades of indignant and freaking myself out over the whole freezing account thing if I didn't pay after 10 days of receipt (I received it 6 days after the aforementioned 10) of the notice. WTF?!?! I have a $2300 rent payment every month! So today after work, I gave them a ringy dingy and I had the pleasure of sitting on hold for half an hour on a shitty internet-connected phone line to have my grevious pain eased by the nice collection lady. All she did was simply mark the car "Out of State" and closed my account. Egad! It would have been so simple had I just called them myself before I even left the country and told them it was now out of state. Why do we make things so difficult for ourselves? Okay, maybe it's just me. I procrastinated. My bad.

But if you think I'm ever going to re-register my car in California ever again, you'd be dead wrong. I'm going to use that whole military excuse for as long as I can. Or at least the next five years until I retire.